Stripping myself bare, I wrote for days. I wrote and wrote. Making sense of yet another bad call became priority. It wasn't because of anything special - it was after all, just another of several of the same that had become all too familiar.
Making sense became priority because I had had enough - enough of the same old roll call, the same kind of people, occurrences, mistakes, choices, lies. Yet, not just that. This time, something was different.
The last experience particularly stank? Yeah, maybe that. But there was more. Timing? I don't know. More Grace? Maybe… I just knew at this time I had to have something different. Something better. Henceforth, things had to change.
The repetitions had gotten boring and uninspiring. My life looked bleak with more of this same if something did not change. I had to change. So I wrote. And these are a few of what I found;
One, some might be able to get away with it but I cannot. What? Talking God and dropping Him was just not going to work for me. I wanted my life to pan out too much of just so, to settle for anything less than He had. Some got it wrong and just brazened their way through. Me? No such luxury. (1 Corinthians 9:16)
Two, If I was going to talk God, I had to follow Him to the hilt. No half measures or I was always going to be in a loop about my convictions and my results. (Roamns 1:28)
Three, I had to be an epitome of 'as many as are led by the Spirit' (Romans 8:14). Why? Because even though I had heard from Him before the beginning about my last bad call I had not believed it. Why? Because first of all in my own human thinking, how could He answer so soon? I had asked casually and not really expected an answer. His answer had come so quietly and so instantly I had brushed it off. Looking back now, I recognise it.
Being led by the Spirit would definitely ensure I don't have time for the wrong kind of people or better still, I would recognise them whenever they appeared in whatever form they appeared. Which brought me to the next point.
Four, I had to spend enough time in His Presence to do the most humanly seemingly 'foolish' things just because I heard Him and I know Who and what I heard. (1Corinthians 2:14)
Five, I had to find me which I discovered was interminably intertwined in Him. He created me. There is no way on earth to find me without asking Him. No way on earth what He told me about me would mean anything to me if I did not first know him. Inevitably, it seemed knowing me was buried deep within knowing him. (Acts 17:28)
Six. Folks probably didn't all need this journey. I did. Which was another reason why I couldn't go off working my life out by what I saw in other people's. Mine just is different and no matter how much of an oddball I might seem I have to tow my path. I can't aim the same targets, follow the same routes or even do the same things. I can't follow what society says is success and I must be ready to seem a failure in people's eyes just so I can be a success in His. (Philippians 2:12)
Seven. I had to stop finding, making or accommodating the wrong allies. Can two work together except they agree? (Amos 3:3). If you've just not got the same thirst, we'd probably not make it far and if we did, it wouldn't be my call. The right allies would come. He would send them and I would identify them if I follow one to six above.
My choice to follow my route will cost me, I know but anyone or anything not in my life per time henceforth, has no business being in my life per time. People and things I don't have per time, I don't need per time, nor need to desire - their approvals, presence, acceptance - inconsequential because my life is henceforth God's sole enclave. He directs the people and things I need as I move and act according to His Will and Direction.
The people, things and victories I do have would be well worth it in more ways than one. Why? Because I am no longer operating in my own wisdom, in my own strength. I lie in His and there I find true rest.