Relationship Versus Fellowship

Pastor Bukola would give an example thus:

If my father disowned me and people saw me, what would they say- “There goes the child whose father disowned him”. And when they saw my father what would they say? “That is the man who disowned his Son”. Had the relationship being broken? No. Neither party was being described without the other. (And if you ask me I’d say, the relationship probably became more pronounced after the disowning as now both parties were being described using each other. This might not necessarily have been the case if a disowning had not taken place.)

Pastor Bukola would continue, “The relationship had not been broken but the fellowship had been”

The Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary describes Fellowship as ‘a feeling of friendship between people who do things together or share an interest’

Do the Father and Son still do things together when the Father disowns the son or the Son turns prodigal? No. fellowship has been broken- the feeling of friendship has been lost. 

What is friendship? A relationship. You might say then that the feeling of relationship has been lost. What kinds of relationship are there- friendship, family, siblings, neighbour. 

What kind of relationship do we have with God- Father/Son. So what relationship feeling has been broken with God when Fellowship is broken? Father/Son feeling- The relationship has not been broken. It’s still there. But the feeling of relationship has been broken. The Father does not feel like He has a son though the son is still alive, well and kicking. And/or the son does not feel like he has a Father, although the father is still Alive (and in this scenario with God, can never die).

The Oxford Advanced Dictionary also describes fellowship as ‘an organized group pf people who share an interest, aim or belief’.

It means that people can come together for a common purpose- they are a fellowship.

So what about in this area of sharing an interest? Fellowship is broken when there is no longer a shared interest. The things of the father do not interest the son. The things of the son are not appealing to the father. Fellowship is broken but the relationship is still intact. Feeling of relationship is lost but the Father-son relationship is still intact.

When we share God’s purpose and follow his agenda for fulfilling them we are in fellowship with God. We can even say that we are a fellowship with Him. But when we cease to share God’s interests, His aims, we have broken fellowship.

However, if a father and son had fellowship and the son left or broke the fellowship and decided to be on his own. Would he cease to be the father’s son? No! But would He still be in fellowship with the father! Still, No. The son would still be the father’s son- relationship is intact. But the son would have broken fellowship with his father- feeling of relationship lost.

Bringing this home; when a child of God does not live according to the Will of God, does not spend time with God, does not fellowship with God. The child of God does not stop being a child of God. The child of God’s Relationship with the Father remains intact- He is that child that has broken fellowship with His Father. Note the description of the child of God is still going to be in relation to God- "I thought He was a Christian/child of God/believer" is what some people will say.

The child of God however, has broken Fellowship with His Father. The feeling of relationship is no longer there. He is not in communion with the Father and so cannot know the heart of the Father. The child of God, therefore has lost Fellowship not Relationship.

How can fellowship then, be restored? Simple! Simply by returning to the Father- stirring back up the feelings of relationship, sharing His interests, making His interests as important to us as ours is, has always been and always will be to Him, doing His Will, staying in the Will of the Father and communing with Him- always.