Relationship Versus Fellowship

Pastor Bukola would give an example thus:

If my father disowned me and people saw me, what would they say- “There goes the child whose father disowned him”. And when they saw my father what would they say? “That is the man who disowned his Son”. Had the relationship being broken? No. Neither party was being described without the other. (And if you ask me I’d say, the relationship probably became more pronounced after the disowning as now both parties were being described using each other. This might not necessarily have been the case if a disowning had not taken place.)

Pastor Bukola would continue, “The relationship had not been broken but the fellowship had been”

The Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary describes Fellowship as ‘a feeling of friendship between people who do things together or share an interest’

Do the Father and Son still do things together when the Father disowns the son or the Son turns prodigal? No. fellowship has been broken- the feeling of friendship has been lost. 

What is friendship? A relationship. You might say then that the feeling of relationship has been lost. What kinds of relationship are there- friendship, family, siblings, neighbour. 

What kind of relationship do we have with God- Father/Son. So what relationship feeling has been broken with God when Fellowship is broken? Father/Son feeling- The relationship has not been broken. It’s still there. But the feeling of relationship has been broken. The Father does not feel like He has a son though the son is still alive, well and kicking. And/or the son does not feel like he has a Father, although the father is still Alive (and in this scenario with God, can never die).

The Oxford Advanced Dictionary also describes fellowship as ‘an organized group pf people who share an interest, aim or belief’.

It means that people can come together for a common purpose- they are a fellowship.

So what about in this area of sharing an interest? Fellowship is broken when there is no longer a shared interest. The things of the father do not interest the son. The things of the son are not appealing to the father. Fellowship is broken but the relationship is still intact. Feeling of relationship is lost but the Father-son relationship is still intact.

When we share God’s purpose and follow his agenda for fulfilling them we are in fellowship with God. We can even say that we are a fellowship with Him. But when we cease to share God’s interests, His aims, we have broken fellowship.

However, if a father and son had fellowship and the son left or broke the fellowship and decided to be on his own. Would he cease to be the father’s son? No! But would He still be in fellowship with the father! Still, No. The son would still be the father’s son- relationship is intact. But the son would have broken fellowship with his father- feeling of relationship lost.

Bringing this home; when a child of God does not live according to the Will of God, does not spend time with God, does not fellowship with God. The child of God does not stop being a child of God. The child of God’s Relationship with the Father remains intact- He is that child that has broken fellowship with His Father. Note the description of the child of God is still going to be in relation to God- "I thought He was a Christian/child of God/believer" is what some people will say.

The child of God however, has broken Fellowship with His Father. The feeling of relationship is no longer there. He is not in communion with the Father and so cannot know the heart of the Father. The child of God, therefore has lost Fellowship not Relationship.

How can fellowship then, be restored? Simple! Simply by returning to the Father- stirring back up the feelings of relationship, sharing His interests, making His interests as important to us as ours is, has always been and always will be to Him, doing His Will, staying in the Will of the Father and communing with Him- always.

Grace II

Back to the gift of Grace. I realise that God had been trying to talk to me about His Grace for so long. Yes, I had been so afraid of taking it for granted that I was not using it at all. But here He was reminding me through Pastor Bukola that He had not written the concluding pages of my life yet. I could still start over- that was Grace.

I was to stop fighting the Old and build the new. That was Grace.

He had not condemned me or written me off. That was Grace.

All I had heard from people pretty much summing up the rest of my life and what I could expect were all lies and nothing like His beautiful plans for my life.

The Rhema I had received about things that had happened, why they had happened and why I had done the things I had done were confirmed- that was Grace!

When I asked this morning, “How do I stop fighting the old and start building the new?”

I got- each time I look back, I was fighting the old. Each time I rationalized and tried to make excuses for my mistakes, I was fighting the old. Each time I wondered or worried what people had to say about my past or what they thought of me, I was fighting the old. Each time I was holding on to what I used to do, trying to fight old sins, preparing for them in case they came back, I was fighting the old.

What was I supposed to do? I’m supposed to build the new. How? Take my eyes off my past and look onto God, onto Jesus.

And that reminds me of what Pastor Bukola said about my wandering, looking for Grace- “You don’t go looking for Grace. You go looking for God and when you find God, you find Grace”. Saying in essence that when you find God, you would see His Grace. 

The Grace of God wraps us all every single day. That we are all alive is by Grace. So many things we enjoy is by His Grace. But we do not see this Grace because we do not see God. We refuse to acknowledge Him, so we do not know that we have what He has given us.

So how do you find God- By going into his Word. By communing with Him. By spending time with Him...

And this brings me to the topic of Relationship Versus Fellowship...

Grace!

The message of Grace is one whose revelation has eluded me, slipping through my fingers even at the times when I seemed to grasp it. For an attribute that I had been actively and intentionally looking for, leaving my home church and changing churches every now and then, visiting churches and eventually refusing to go to any church at all- it is almost inconceivable that I would lose it once I grasp it. But lose it I did- over and over again.

Pardon me but, my religious mind, then Muslim now Christian and seemingly every bit as religious as it had ever been, refused to grab the concept of Grace! Grace! That one word- denoted in so many ways but promising hope, freedom, victory…

That God wants me to come into His Grace, receive His Gift of Grace and appropriate it in my own life is not deniable. In fact, I am not certain if He has chased me in recent times with any gift as actively as with this Gift of Grace- A Benny Hinn message here, a personal Rhema there, even a Display picture I saw which said something along the lines of not wasting energy fighting the old but on building  the new. Did I get it? No! I just kept going around looking for Grace whilst I swam in it.

So, what am I going to do? Well, pretty much like the story of my life and like my relationship with God, He saved me- again!

I was talking to Pastor Bukola about my past mistakes- mistakes which seemed destined to run me into the ground and leave God flailing helplessly beside me, unable to help? But that is not possible! God can never be helpless. Even His Weakness is stronger than men 1st Corinthians 1:25

You see sometimes we underestimate our God and overestimate sin, the devil, our human weaknesses, past mistakes. We are all so convinced that this evil tripartite of devil, sin and man will just run us into the ground and of course, there is nothing God can do about it. Especially when you add the fact that God cannot behold iniquity. How on earth is He going to save you from  your foolishness, mistakes, errors, doom, sin- all self-inflicted of, course?

My thanks be to God Who is not limited by our inabilities, failings, weaknesses. In fact, whether we like it or not, we are inexorably being drawn towards the perfect will of God. It’s going to end like he said. Whether we are on the right side or wrong side of His Judgement is all left to us. And now is the gift of Grace available.

You see, we cannot hear it long enough, loud enough or often enough that our God is all powerful. All the demons there are could not stop Christ rising – how many exactly do you have in your life that can stop God. Don’t hold your breathe trying to count because no one is going to stop Him - no one and nothing.

I give Thanks!

It is one of those days- when bills are piling and all you have to combat them is faith- and that sinking feeling that you have not prepared enough or wisely enough and now you are going to pay the price, somehow. It mutates into aggression, impatience. It would roll over into everything if I let it.

Yet, I just finished reading an article by Dena Johnson on Christianity.Com titled 'Learning to take joy in God’s gifts'. And I decide to thank God instead of grumble, get angry or get spiteful. I decide to make a list- short really, but a start nonetheless.

So though I might not have the money for the next snack or comfort, I decide to say to God:

1) I thank You Lord because I can eat- I might not be able to buy a snack right now because I am broke. But I’ve got food in the house- three different soups in my fridge, my choice of pasta, Semo, Garri or Poundo. If that is not plenty of food I don't know what is.

2) I thank You Lord because I am healthy – even though you say there is no money, you’ll be shocked how much tighter things can be when you have to find medical bills amongst zero. You’ll be surprised folks might not help you feed better but they might certainly help you with Medical bills. And if you are lucky, their help might not be a loan. I thank God I don’t have to find out- I'm healthy!

3) I thank You Lord because I have loved ones – My parents are the most beautiful people on the face of this earth. My siblings simply the best. I’ve heard of horrors borne on the wings of people with whom  one should find the most rest. I thank God I have never had to worry about that. We have had our differences – like the time I gave my life to Christ, and that other time when I didn’t live my talk, and that other time…. But point is we have loved, still love and I pray to God even with thanksgiving that we will always love, ourselves through and through. (And yes, Lord- I really need help getting them all saved…  but this is not the time or place to talk about that, I guess- I'm giving thanks only at this time!)

4) I thank You Lord because I have a wonderful car –  I didn’t expect to buy it. I had expected it because God promised it but I didn’t think I could. And I didn’t! He did because that’s the only explanation for buying a car out of no dough – it wasn’t given me. I bought it- and I don’t know how.

5) I thank You Lord because I have a beautiful house- I am yet to see anyone come into my home for the first time and not tell me ‘Your house is beautiful’. I even painted and repainted… I can’t complain.

6) I thank You Lord because I have a six figure income- Yeah! And how on earth do I get away complaining about being broke? I was stupid that’s why. And I’m still paying for it. But He’s made it so easy I can’t imagine how He did it. Point though is broke or not, the income’s still coming and I thank God because it means I’m getting out of broke pretty soon.

7) I thank You Lord because I have spiritual blessings in heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3) – Mercies, Forgiveness, Grace, Goodness, Blessings, Peace, Joy (like a river and so sweet!), Victories and countless other blessings I cannot (fully) explain. Where do I begin to count them? I don’t know. Maybe from before I was born, who knows? But here I am thanking Him for them, because I enjoy them, always have and by His Grace always will.

What about all these other blessings I still also, thank God for? His Faithfulness on my loved ones? On friends? I don’t have to mourn anyone. I don’t have to pay medical bills on anyone… And I wouldn’t thank God??? You bet I will!

Yeah, I might not be able to get one or two things now that I want but I know it’s a short term effect of several mistakes over time. Considering that even, I think I got off pretty easy - and that's still thanks to Him! I mean, I’m not at a dead end (did I mention the other countless blessings I cannot trace?).

Now to wrap things up, if you consider that my God is able to make a highway out of a dead end, does it not make my case (humanly speaking) just that much more encouraging? But we do know that my God does not need any more power to make a way for me than He needs to make a way in the wilderness. (Isaiah 43:19).

If that’s not another reason to be thankful, I don’t know what is!

Rejoice!

I'm in Church and Pastor Philip says - 'We rejoice because we know that whatever we are going through (as Christians) God will turn it out for good'. I receive that word as Rhema.

God can make us come out alright no matter what is going on in our lives. He can handle it. He can make them (the problems) crawl. And He can let them become whatever He wants them to become.

This would be consistent with the word that was laid in my heart during the service about things not being about our sins but of how much of God, His Word, His Spirit we have in our lives. Again, the picture would come to my mind of a transcending, an elevation that is a direct consequence of having more Word, more Holy Spirit, more of the God kind of life (which is still only possible by having more of God, more of His Word). In fact, this has been a recurrent theme imprinted on my mind all week.

The picture would always be of a body floating not as a direct consequence of the absence of sin but as a result of having more of God, more God. Sin is neutralized, impotent, made of non-effect by God. Sin cannot operate.

Pastor Bukola would say referring to scripture, 'As many as are led by the Spirit, they are the sons of God'. Romans 8:14. It is impossible to make any progress without the Spirit of God!

I had to meditate, assimilate and regurgitate, chew and re-chew the word Pastor Philip spoke when he said God will turn out anything going on in our lives- debts, pain and so on- out for good. 'We rejoice because we know that whatever we are going through as Christians God will turn it out for good'. (This is confirmed in Romans 8:28.) I realised that even sin in the life of a believer will be overcome if only we just believe and rejoice in the Lord that turns all things out for good. Even that sin would be mocked, removed become a thing of history and overcome with and in God. I had gained power over sin. 

I came to understand that we were not rejoicing just because it was good and forgetting God when things went bad. Rejoicing is not about a manifest presence of things as we want them to be but a declaration of God and His goodness in ALL our situations – NO MATTER WHAT. Not because things were necessarily alright at the time but because one accepts the truth that as a son of God EVERYTHING works out for your good NO MATTER WHAT. Romans 8:28. 

If you will pardon my Grammer - God does not just CAN- but God DOES make EVERYTHING work out for good. It might rarely, if ever be how we expect it to be or want things to be but if we truly have the mind of Christ (1Corinthians 2:16) we will be thankful to God for exactly how everything turns out to be because we see God's Hand in everything, in every minute detail. It is this belief that many Christians fail to hold on to.

Then I get the word before I alight from my car when I get home. ''A Christian is one who remains a Christian even in the furnace''. You don’t just call on God, believe in Him, believe Him and sing 'You are Good' only when it gets rosy. We call on God even when we are down and seemingly out because we know that He does not change. Not because we are down, not because we are sad, not because we think we are out does God change - never. God remains good (Matthew 19:17, Mark 10:18, Luke 18:19), His plans for us remain good (Jeremiah 29:11) and He continues to bring good out of EVERY situation (Romans 8:28, Ephesians 2:10). He remains The Same - and that is what we hold on to.  Brethren, it does not get better than that!