The message of Christmas...

Christmas!

As I went to Transcorp Hilton to spend Christmas eve till the day after boxing with an aunt I wondered what to do. I had expressly received instruction to fast and wait on God. I had even had someone advise me against the trip. Sadly, my aunt would have none of that. ‘You got me into this’, she insisted, ‘We’re going on into together’.

Bemused I wondered how convincing someone to have a fun time in a top hotel with their family could get me ‘under arrest’. ‘I would pray and fast while there’ I said. Yeah, right!

I didn’t only have my aunt give me the injunction on the fourth day of my fast (and my first day with them) that I was to break my fast, I also listened to her when she said as a Minister she was telling me not to fast!

Now, come on here! Sure I didn’t have to break my spiritual exercise. But I got the perfect excuse I needed to do what I really wanted to do. What chance did I stand with all that spread in front of me anyway! (Yeah, right! I have never been a believer of beyond redemption or too far to turn back or too late or… For that matter, too set up! But lately I find a more relaxed mode has me making all sorts of excuses.)

Anyways (pardon my use of the word. It’s a personal idiosyncrasy), as I bit into the bread, baked beans or whatever (yeah, how spectacular are the things that make us break off) it distinctly came into my mind the story of the old prophet and the new (1kings 13). I had used my aunt’s ‘Ministerial injunction’ as an excuse to expressly disobey God. (as I write this now I cannot help but wonder if the Old prophet’s ‘word’ (lies) to the New had not simply been a way out for the New to grub up and disobey God. In the long run, this would reveal God as knowing our heart’s desires and the truth about whatever lies we want to cook up about being tempted.

 I know I have wondered what kind of God would serve a new (and might I add, young, fresh faced (and maybe, vulnerable?) prophet up for breakfast to a lion? Apparently If I had been the New prophet in this scenario with my auntie I would be guilty as sin! I wanted the food!

 

I thanked God for Grace and the question of Grace came up? What exactly was Grace? An excuse to throw up every time we fumbled? An excuse to fumble? It occurred to me that grace was not available at the time of the Old and New prophets in the bible. I, on the other hand, had it. I had access to it!

Of course, the excuse of using it every time I fumbled was not it. Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid. But it is available. There is nothing I can do about that. And I would be a fool such as to turn my back on it because it is too easy. No way!

I communed with God as I smiled at my aunt and internally wrestled with my Creator. I was sorry. I would make it up to him. And the message of Christ on the cross came to me distinctly. He didn’t die in vain. I would access that sacrifice, His blood.

No I could not make up for my disobedience. And no, Grace is not to be taken for granted, but I will take the Grace that is available to me even as it was not in bible times. Yes, the New prophet died according to the bible but I will be no better off than him and maybe even worse off if I do not take the Grace that is available to me. If he had it, I bet he would have taken it! And if he was not smart and did not, I wouldn’t want to follow him in his example.

So while I knew I was in disobedience, I repented. I also knew that I could not pay Him back- not with begs, not with wheedles or extra fasts. But I also knew I had an escape- grace - the price that had been paid on the cross. I did not and do not have to perish. And while I knew I deserved to be flayed and any number of things could happen to me for my disobedience, I knew I didn’t have to be flayed (or flay myself) and nothing evil needed to happen to me. I had an escape route- I took grace!

Coming to think of it right now as I sign off (I didn’t even think of this then!), I think now that the message was apt- that I should receive the message of Grace on Christmas day. The message of Christ arms stretched out on the cross for such a time as this- when I would compromise on God's instruction but would repent, not want to do it any more but still need that I not be eaten by a lion... Wow, Lord! You knock me out!