Lamentations Chapter 3 got me. I could relate with it because it rang true in the spiritual dryness/disconnect I felt. Yes, I was praying, I was a firebrand- or at least lighting up, but I felt very disconnected from God.
For some reason the things I knew and had denied and gone on to disobey now taunted me. I had known them but not listened. I had gone on to disobey and now it seemed even that was being denied me- that knowledge, it's conviction. Not because I didn't believe them to be what they were anymore but because I had not believed them at the time when they could have saved me much pain...
Yep, dryness fit. I felt embraced but distanced. Loved but chastised. I know I am not going anywhere from God despite this because Job's declaration that 'Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him' (Job 13:15) has profound meaning to me now.
I know He's not going to let me go. I know he chastises his own. Even as I write I see already apparent pits to fall in. Luckily for me what you are capable of doing is not held against you. Only what you can do.
So I draw closer to Him. and draw on the Strength only He can give, I hide within the hedge only He can secure one in. And I wait... Patiently I wait as I am healed of every wound, every anger, every pain and every bitterness. Wounds from gullibility and foolishness, anger at God because I felt He did not protect me (but life exists by His Protection), pain from a sustained sense of betrayals and bitterness for things not being the way I envisaged or wanted them to be.
I learn you don't tell God- He knows. The sooner you embrace His Will, who He is, the easier the ride will be. You don't struggle with the Most High. Indeed, 'it is hard for you to kick against the prick'' (Acts 26:14).
He is Omni...
For some reason the things I knew and had denied and gone on to disobey now taunted me. I had known them but not listened. I had gone on to disobey and now it seemed even that was being denied me- that knowledge, it's conviction. Not because I didn't believe them to be what they were anymore but because I had not believed them at the time when they could have saved me much pain...
Yep, dryness fit. I felt embraced but distanced. Loved but chastised. I know I am not going anywhere from God despite this because Job's declaration that 'Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him' (Job 13:15) has profound meaning to me now.
I know He's not going to let me go. I know he chastises his own. Even as I write I see already apparent pits to fall in. Luckily for me what you are capable of doing is not held against you. Only what you can do.
So I draw closer to Him. and draw on the Strength only He can give, I hide within the hedge only He can secure one in. And I wait... Patiently I wait as I am healed of every wound, every anger, every pain and every bitterness. Wounds from gullibility and foolishness, anger at God because I felt He did not protect me (but life exists by His Protection), pain from a sustained sense of betrayals and bitterness for things not being the way I envisaged or wanted them to be.
I learn you don't tell God- He knows. The sooner you embrace His Will, who He is, the easier the ride will be. You don't struggle with the Most High. Indeed, 'it is hard for you to kick against the prick'' (Acts 26:14).
He is Omni...
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